Should You Not Be in a Relationship anymore?

This is still a semi raw topic for me as I have recently had to make this decision and I really wanted to shear a bit about my thought process with you.

This is a tough subject for anyone, sometimes you know it’s just not working out but ending a relationship can be so much harder than it seems. Anything and everything goes through your mind, is it the right decision? Is there actually a reason or is it just a feeling?

These are ten signs I would say tell you your relationship isn’t working anymore.

  • Something doesn’t feel right anymore.

Sometimes it’s just a feeling that you can’t shake. Even if you try and ignore it, it’s always in the back of your mind. Sometimes you must go with your gut and not overthink too much. Think about you and what you want, can you really be happy with the lingering feeling that your relationship isn’t working anymore.

  • Friends or family express concern.

If your best friends or family are worried that something isn’t right, then maybe you should listen. Obviously, you should make up your own mind up in the long run. That being said, don’t blindly follow their advice, only you can truly know what’s going on in the relationship. But, it’s worth paying attention to any concrns.

  • Effort.

Every single relationship has some sort of issue that couples have to work through, whether it’s not seeing eye to eye about time and money, or that you need to work the communicating between the two of you. But, if you are constantly revisiting these issues together then clearly no progress being made. this should be a sign one or both of you aren’t truly committed to making this relationship work.

  • You’re fighting more often.

Fights here and there are totally normal, i would say healthy too. It’s nothing to be immediately worried about. although, if most of your conversations turn into arguments, especially when they’re over trivial things, that is no way to maintain a relationship. Either it’s time to work on how you two communicate, or it’s time to reevaluate if this relationship is working.

  • You’re bringing out the worst in each other, not the best.

Are you motivating each other? Building each other up? Helping each other reach goals? Or are you putting each other down? Constantly criticizing each other?

  • You find yourself wanting to be alone more than you want to be together.

Are you happier when you leave your partner? Do you feel any sort of dread about being together? Or when you are together, are you counting down the minutes until you get to be alone again? Was it because you just need some alone time? Or is this thought a common occurrence?

  • You don’t feel as attracted to your partner.

Attraction fading can be totally normal in a relationship. When the honeymoon, can’t-keep-your-hands-to-yourself phase is over, the fizzle can die down a bit. But, has it totally fizzled out?

  • You keep imagining what life would be like if you were single.

An occasional wondering about single like doesn’t mean you should automatically worry. But, if you are fantasizing about it quite often, and rarely coming to the conclusion that you’d much rather be with your partner, there might be some issues.

  • You’re not working towards a future.

Maybe you were initially, or maybe you never were, but if you’re both on paths going opposite directions you need to think about what kind of future that would be for the two of you. Is there a way to get your paths back to the same direction?

  • You are not happy. (Probably the most important) 

All these reasons aside, being happy in your relationship is very very important. It doesn’t mean every single day you’re the happiest you’ve ever been. But, you should be making each other happy, and overall it should be a positive thing in your life, adding joy. If it isn’t adding happiness to your life, or worse, it’s taking your happiness away, that’s no way to maintain a healthy relationship.

Alright, after reading this list what is your GUT reaction? Don’t overthink it.

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